christmas time is here.

i have been such a slacker about posting anything... i am not really sure why... 

there's a quote from the movie "you've got mail" where tom hanks questions the lyrics to the joni mitchell song "river" - and he questions the meaning of the song...

man, i love that movie... and part of me really loves that song... there's just something sober about it - how in the midst of what could be such a joyous time, there is a desire to escape... i know how it feels to not really feel "in the mood of christmas" - i've been watching the movies... i get a little teary-eyed at the hallmark channel christmas movies and love the cheesy abc family ones... 

i just saw that hershey kisses commercial - it's been on since i was a kid, and in so many ways, it represents the holidays for me... i managed to get the "christmas" box out of my hall closet... the one containing about a dozen ornaments, a rocking horse and my favorite decoration ever - the music box with the dancing santa/mrs. claus... 

and, yet... i wish i had a river i could skate away on...

there is a part of me that gets really contemplative and isolated during the fall and the holidays... i withdraw from people a lot... and keep to myself... i can get really sad... not for any reason in particular... maybe wishing things were different... maybe having a pity party... not really sure...

i like christmas... i like helping other people and the way that everyone seems nicer... more loving, more open to others... i like the fact that it's a chance to celebrate Jesus - His life and the hope that He brought to the world... 

and, yet... i wish i had a river i could skate away on... 

It's coming on Christmas, they're cutting down trees.

They're putting up reindeer, and singing songs of joy and peace.

Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on.

But it don't snow here, it stays pretty green

I'm going to make a lot of money, then I'm going to quit this crazy scene.

I wish I had a river I could skate away on.

I wish I had a river so long, I would teach my feet to fly

Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on.

I made my baby cry

He tried hard to help me, you know, he put me at ease

And he love me so naughty, made me weak in the knees.

Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on.

I'm so hard to handle, I'm selfish and I'm sad

Now I've gone and lost the best baby that I ever had.

Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on.

I wish I had a river so long I would teach my feet to fly.

Oh, I wish I had a river

I made my baby say goodbye.

It's coming on Christmas, they're cutting down trees.

They're putting up reindeer and singing songs of joy and peace.

I wish I had a river I could skate away on.

nanny jo...

since the first time i was told i looked like jo frost aka supernanny, i've wanted to dress up like her for halloween... i hadn't ever really looked for a purple suit or the right kind of shoes, but i thought that it would be impossible...

this afternoon, i thought i'd give it a chance... i went to the goodwill that is close to my apartment... it was about 3:45 or so... in less than 30 minutes, i left with all but one element of the costume in hand - and all for about $10... i was so excited about it... it's not all "perfect," but it's really close - and it was inexpensive... i think it was a pretty amazing occurrence to find a purple suit that (almost) fit... and shoes that fit - all at a goodwill store that, to be honest, wasn't very full of quality stuff... i did see this random pair of pointy-toed heels that were neon pink and made out of the same material as jellies were made out of in the 80's... and recently... i almost bought them, but wondered when i would actually have a need for them...

i think the only time i'll have use for this purple suit and these shoes are when i feel like dressing up as jo...

here are pictures:

did you ever watch friends? no, i don't have cable.

last thursday, i was working at sbux... this guy walked in and in typical sbux fashion, we asked him what he wanted us to start for him. he informed us that he was waiting on someone... he looked rather impatient, grabbed his cell phone and made a call...

some time later (i kind of forgot about him), he was joined by a young woman... and they ordered drinks and then sat down and started drinking their coffee and talking... i like to observe people a lot of the time... and i realized rather quickly that this was either a first date or very very early on in the relationship... i later learned through minor eavesdropping (while i was on my break) that this was the first time they had met - but knew each other through some online dating site... 

i mentioned it to the people i was working with - they agreed that they thought it was a first date and we were all watching them... we quickly got irritated at how much the guy was talking... and were thinking of ways to help the girl to have an "out." 

i laughed a lot as i watched these two interact... the awkward exchange between the two... he talked A LOT... and she laughed awkwardly and a little too long at things that really weren't that funny... seeing people on a first date is one of my favorite things ever and it happens from time to time at sbux... there's just an expected awkwardness as two people sit down and try to get to know each other with questions and answers... nothing too personal, but more than just surface questions...

i sometimes wonder what people think when they might overhear my conversations and watch my interactions... i'm sure it's pretty hilarious... they may even be writing about me on their blog... i can only imagine... how ridiculous... 

i have nothing good for a sunday night... and i didn't even develop that story well... i also, at some point, would like to talk about the lady who lives downstairs and has plastic on her furniture... will i be her someday? 

need sleep.

Is flipping a coin an acceptable means of making major decisions?

I put in notice at my job at sbux. I’ve been asked to consider staying… not sure what I’m going to do at this point… it would be nice to continue getting 2 paychecks every Friday, even if one is considerably smaller than the other. In a month or two, I’d be getting a special Christmas t-shirt. Also, the discount is nice for buying Christmas presents at 30% off is a nice perk. Plus, I would only have to work 12 hours a week (total – all the time)… which would be a welcome change to the 23 I’m putting in this week. The bad part is that I would still be working 3 jobs… and I’m tired… really really tired…

Heads? Tails?

The presidential election is coming up in a short time. I am registered to vote, but I don’t have a decision set in stone at this point. I don’t talk about politics often because I usually get mad… and it’s not worth it to me. I think there are pros and cons to both sides… I’m not asking for anyone else’s view… and I’m not asking for your opinion about whether or not you think I’m going to Hell because there is a chance I might be voting for Obama. It’s just one more decision I have to make soon… and I don’t know what I’m going to… maybe flip a coin… sounds logical to me…

Paper? Rock? Scissors?

Now for something completely different…

Do you know who judge reinhold is? (beckie, I’m sure you do.) He was in fast times at ridgemont high… Beverly hills cop, the santa clause (yes, with tim allen – he’s the stuffy psychiatrist step-dad)… (and still some people don’t know who I’m talking about)…

Well, evidently he lives in little rock part of the time and he came into sbux last week when I was working… I was so so so excited! (I didn’t hide it – very well, anyway.) We had a good conversation and talked about his upcoming show on the cw – easy money. I will be watching (or at least tivo-ing) and would encourage you to, as well… I mean, I want him to keep earning money so that he can continue to come to sbux when he’s in town…

And speaking of tivo… I finally got dvr!!!! It’s not tivo – but it’s still dvr… I guess I’m finally catching up with the rest of the world… now if I can just get an iPod and a better tv… I got an off-brand chi that I do feel is still a VERY good buy and about 1/3 the cost of a chi – and it is working wonders on my insanely long and not-so-easy-to-manage hair…

Seriously… if you want to invest in the “buy-robyn-an-ipod-fund,” I don’t have a problem with it at all.

And one more complete change of subject…

I love Christ church. For anyone who knows me, they know I talk about it all the time… but I’m getting more excited about seeing how it will grow and how it will take a different shape as our Abba chooses to add people to our little flock… and how their gifts will make our body stronger and how they will help care for us… and how we can care for them… plus, I’m excited about the addition of two new little ones who will be joining us soon… and how we, as a body, will help them grow up to be followers of Christ…

Even though life is sometimes hard, things are good…

country road, take me home to the place i belong, west virginia, mountain mama, take me home, country road...

tonight after church, the room was kind of a-flutter with activity... people, grouped up in small groups sharing life with each other... talking about the things that are going on in their lives and praying together... it's one of my favorite things about church...

tonight was different, though... i ended up sitting next to chris and everyone else was in groups... he grabbed a guitar and started playing songs from the days at central... songs that have a lot of memories tied in with them... some of my favorite songs... songs that remind me of a time when faith seemed more simple and also more complex...

obedience always seemed so easy back then... and at the same time, i think i made some things way more complicated than they needed to be... trying to put on my game face because i would think that's what everyone wanted to see...

now, for me, sometimes i think the thing people most need to see are the places where i am vulnerable... the places that make me real... not the mask... one of the songs we sang was "find me in the river" - and it always brings tears to my eyes when i sing it... "find me in the river, find me there, find me on my knees with my soul laid bare, even though you're gone and i'm cracked and dry, find me in the river... i'm waiting here."

i do feel a bit cracked and dry lately... like i'm not where i need to be... i don't put on the game face with the people i go to church with... but sometimes, i don't expose my true vulnerability... i remain quiet, thinking it's easier not to open up than to show all the junk... to admit that sometimes i hurt and feel lonely... that i mess up and make mistakes... that i'm not perfect.

then, after we sang some of those, chris got out the 12-string and started playing john denver songs... and there's something about the chorus of "take me home, country road" that gets me... no clue what it is... but it gets to me... i love it... i love the thought of going home... and the idea that seems to follow the song that he's going home to someone...

i know these thoughts are disjointed somewhat... i really just needed to write again... i like it being a part of my routine... and i need to practice... because right now it's all a little messy.

1) tina fey is my hero... 2) josh groban is working his way up the list...

so i was at home... instead of doing laundry, i watched the emmy's... occasionally, during breaks, i cleaned...

at least i got one thing quasi-accomplished...

here are my thoughts...

i loved the josh groban singing 30 theme song bit... my favorite was the transition from "we finally got a piece of the pie..." to "i'll be ready..." complete with the dramatic slo-mo-ish baywatch lifeguard re-enactment...

i also loved tina fey's quote in one of her acceptance speeches - "i thank my parents for somehow raising me to have confidence that is disproportionate with my looks and abilities. well done." whatever... she's hilarious... 

i wondered how kathy griffin could possibly be upstaged/considered normal and appropriate... enter: don rickles... seriously.

p.s. the weekend was fabulous... i was really excited about asu winning another game... now... we need to beat memphis next weekend... it was great to spend time with friends... i laughed a lot... and realized how great my friends are... i would totally back them up in a fist fight if i needed to... i'm just saying. 

he said, 'it's all in your head,' and i said, 'so's everything,' but he didn't get it...

my life is busy. i hate to say that... but it just is... i have some great stories to tell, but tonight, i'm opting for sleep over stopping to write them out...

it's all in my head, so hopefully, someday i'll have an opportunity to share...

until then, dear friends, be well.